May 3, has it really been that long since I posted? What's wrong with me? It's not like I've done nothing for the past month and a half, jeez.
I've done a lot of things. We bought a new truck, I downloaded some new songs, I semi-conquered my fears of doing a flyaway on the high bar in gymnastics (and ripped a hole in my hand and haven't been back since, eh). But for some reason finding the motivation to write in here just always evades me.
And it's weird because when I read my old Livejournal blog, I crack up and I'm so glad I have those things written down because hey, I think I'm pretty interesting. I think I used to update the old one more too because I linked to it from my MySpace page, but I don't use MySpace anymore and hence, no more updates that the world can see.
But anyway now I never write about anything much - maybe it's because my world is really small. Maybe I don't know what I want to do with my life (who does?). Maybe it's because I feel restless. I don't know, I need something new. I feel like all I do is sleep and work and not much in between, and that's a problem. And I know it's my problem (I DO know that, apparently a phrase that will be engraved on my tombstone by Matt) but I just don't know what to do about it. I need to get out of the house because I work here, and who wants to spend all day every day at their work? I need to find a creative writing class, or a stained glass class, or a dance or yoga class, or a new friend, or something.
And speaking of friends, one of my best friends was discussing moving out of the state of California, and my heart did like 10 backflips because I know Colorado is a potential state that said person could move to. And it got me thinking like, what would I do, and what would my life be like, if I had a really close friend live close to me again? What would I do differently (probably lots of things). I miss friends. It's not like I don't have any, but well, all of them live far away. And I know that was a sacrifice I made when I moved here too. But sometimes it's just fun to think about the things I would do differently if I had friends close to me again.
Which is probably why I'm aching to get out to Orange County again. Lots of friends that are always happy to see me. I know it's stupid that I didn't ask if I could fly there from work, but there will be another weekend. Or dammit, maybe that one. I want to go. I want to go see 311 in crappy seats on the grass. I want to wonder where I am going to work from. Maybe I'll just fly from San Francisco to Denver and turn my ass around and fly right back to Orange County. I can do whatever I want, I'm an adult! And I need this.
